incomplete

I have had no complete thoughts for about three days now.
Just random words exploding like firecrackers in my brain.
fire and all.
which is why
they tend to hurt most of the time.

Sushi is good.
But not as good as the word of God.
Oh, that. Yeah, what happened?
Wait, you need to remember that part.
And what about that letter?
Remember to set your alarm.
Why don't you ever finish reading a book?
No wonder you aren't growing.
"in the night...."
Where are the stars?
I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING!
Static always creeps into my radio.
I just want to race.
Failure.
That's what it has been.
Ha! Hope?
And why did you say that, anyway?
I want to learn more about boundaries.
Not that I can apply anything to my life.
I'm such a wimp.
What happened to self-control?
You will have no free evening this week.
Why do I feel like this?
I hope her mind is being restored.
Trust kills.
But you have unfailing love!
Why does it feel like this sometimes?
Remind me again.
Passion for what matters.
Where has it gone?
Have I put up too many walls?
And still not enough?
Where have you gone?
I need to knock that one down.

forgiveness. pursuit. love. unfailing.

Jealous Kind by Jars of Clay

a step of correction in the process of learning

So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, you hypocrites. Let there be tears for the wrong things you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief.....When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on Him, He will lift you up and give you honor.
-James 4:7-10 nlt [and the entire chapter, really]

i <3 the weepies

Not Your Year

Nobody Knows Me At All

Hideaway

time

i'm trying to form thoughts about how to live each day.
they say live as if it were your last day on earth.
but what about living as if it were your first?

O_o

omg.
i am going crazy.
but You see me coming in
and You see me going out
so please
don't let me forget
what life is all about.

splashes of life

I like seeing what people put on their subs.
One lady asked for meatballs, extra sauce, pickles, and black olives. Imagine those flavors all shooting around in your mouth with each bite; kind of makes my mouth do funny things just thinking about it. She must have either a) a dull life that allows creativity to be expressed only during lunch hour or b) such an interesting daily existence that it has infected even her food choices. Subway is a center for sociological observations. They really should charge extra.

Alzheimer's: the test of love.
She was hunched over on top of her porch steps when we walked up. She looked up from the two empty white buckets in her hand and asked my mother how tall she was. She refused my help down the stairs, and also any mention of us holding her buckets. We walked out to the patch to pick our blueberries as she wandered around the vast yard muttering to herself. Later, her husband arrived and took her inside to eat breakfast. "Here, lets eat outside on the porch. That sound good to you?" His voice was soft and his actions embodied gentle love. Even though the responses to his questions were nonsensical babbles about her cup or buckets, you could tell his heart still beat to the rhythm of their past.

Hey, caterpillar.
I sat down at the dining room table to eat my lunch of fresh green beans, a vegetable crammed turkey sandwich, chips, and salsa. Right before we bowed our heads to bless the food, I saw a caterpillar on the center of the table. He was quite small, very fluffy, and had these little poky things sticking up from his body. When we started eating, I wanted to share, so I gave him some of my potato chip. He turned away with disgust. Anita commented that I may have shoved it at the wrong end, since it was hard to tell which was the head and which was the tail. Haha, Anita. He didn't like the hydrangea leaf, either. But, when Mother set down lettuce, he enjoyed the thought of that for a while...then crawled past. He begin walking towards my plate, so I set it aside and he kept going to the edge of the table. Oh, no! I was concerned he would crawl right off and fall into my lap, possibly injuring one of his little legs! Anita interrupted my thoughts: "Carolita, what concerns me about this picture is you have that motherly look on your face right now." She was so right. Deep down, I do love animals of all shapes and sizes and diet-choices (so long as they don't eat humans like myself). I guess what's in my heart shows on my face more than I thought. God bless the caterpillars. And the sparrows that eat them.